i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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