they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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