How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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