oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
