I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize