DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i came on her dog
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
