We should be called the Road Head Warriors
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
