Say something about gay babies.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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