no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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