Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
