who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
