Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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