is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
