I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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