Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
