Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
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he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
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When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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