Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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