he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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