Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
