just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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