my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
