hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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