I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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