I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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