Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
