She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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