I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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