its not stalking. its research.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
