whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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