Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
