Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
smell my finger.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize