Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
