So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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