Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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