Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
