you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
