Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
