rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
