I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
