I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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