We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
