Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Randomize
