T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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