hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I AM VODKA MAN
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
