I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
did i walk over a car last night?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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