the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize