watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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