almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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