i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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