some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
