I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
