Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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