Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
