i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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