i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
