yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
