Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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