Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
