I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
